To Live Again
by BobWhite
Summary: New kid in charge of all her siblings. Pls R&R 2 find out more.


**Full Summary:**

Zelaya Roussev and her family have just moved to the US after being forced from their home in Egypt. As her family makes their way across the wilderness of America, she is depended on more and more, especially when her mother becomes ill and dies just as they reach their new hometown. Not able to go to school anymore, Zelaya instead writes in her many blank journals she had bought while in Egypt. What happens when Zelaya becomes lost in the wilderness just beyond their new home? Will she succumb to the cold rain that hasn't stopped since she became lost? And why has a mountain lion stayed so close to her? Will she ever see her Rupak or any of her friends again?

**Zelaya Roussev:**

With all my heart I wanted to be back in my home, listening to the music being played by Rupak, my beloved. But Rupak was back in Egypt and I was in Colorado after my parents were forced to move to the US. That is what is happening to our people now. Our Egypt is being forced to move to America because we cannot pay the government the amount of taxes they want us to pay. It is like we are slaves all over again. We lived in the same quarters our ancestors lived in, yet we are free.

Rupak said his family would be next to go and I wish so badly to see him again. But if our people are forced to move out of our Egypt, then where will we meet up again if we are spread out over this new wilderness? Will we ever be able to see each other again? And who is to say what will happen when we all meet again. We will love seeing each other again, but will we have all changed? Will we have all become new people? Will Rupak still want me as his bride after what we've all been through?

With mama gone now three winters, my father depends on me to take care of my nine siblings, the youngest being only three-years-old. I would love to go to school, but I have no time for that anymore. My siblings go to school, but I, being of sixteen years, can not go to school anymore. Thus I must keep myself busy with farm work and writing in my journals when I get the chance. Oh, I do hope our Egypt is not torn to pieces before we are ever to return again.

Rupak told me that he would keep his heart closed to anyone that tried to take it from him (meaning he would not love another woman until we were together again). I love him even more for that. I have left word with the ship master to let Rupak know where we have gone to live. The ship master has told me that he will let Rupak, his family and anyone else from our Egypt know where exactly it is that we have gone to live. That ship master was always the kindest of men. He made sure that I had enough food for my family. He even thought, at one point, that father and I were betrothed. How absurd to think that I would marry my own father.

But now I must go journal, for I am long overdue at the kitchen. Father will be home from his job in town soon and he'll want a hot supper on the table. I must go warm his food up and get the children tucked away into their rooms. Us girls share one room and the boys share one room. Father sleeps with his sons while I sleep with the rest of his daughters. He has five sons, but the youngest must sleep with me for I fear he will wake father up and father will become angry and yell at me some more.

I fear that I am not doing exactly the right thing father has asked me to do everyday. I fear that he will tire of me being his daughter and house maid and go find himself a new wife. Because, in our culture, the man of the house has every right to find himself a new wife after his wife has been gone for one and a half winters. I fear that my new mother will kick me out of the house before Rupak can safely make it here and marry me. I fear that I will be kicked out into the cold wilderness with none of my stuff and no place to go.

Oh journal, why does our culture have to be so mean and demanding all the time? Why can't our culture be relaxing and peaceful? I must go warm father's supper now. I promise to write as soon as I can. And journal, thank you for being here for me to write in you. If father knew what I was writing, he would find you and the rest of the journals and throw you away.


End file.
